Pondering 9-11 nine years later

The 9th anniversary of the World Trade Center/Pentagon airplane attacks has come and gone. I do not have cable television and quite consciously avoided exposing myself to all media attention for this year's 9/11. I was vaguely aware of several events in my area that were organized to commemorate the hero's and honor the fallen. I did not involve myself. I went to the Port Townsend Wooden Boat festival with my dogs instead.
The events that occurred on September 11, 2001 are still very heavy for me. I have never lived in NYC and did not lose any friends or family members during the attacks. I never had to really live with what happened. I don't think about it everyday, but I think about it. I remember the way it felt to wake up to the live feed of the rubble and the death, the confusion, the anarchy of it. As the second tower seemed to disintegrate, rushing downward toward the earth with all of the violence of monstrous lahar, the pit of my stomach knew that men, women, and children were perishing, vanishing, disintegrating, floating. I also had to adjust to the post 9/11 world. A brave new world. An uncertain place. And I also had to live in the cold war like climate and watch as coworkers, neighbors, and friends became divided all around me. I was told on more than one occasion that if I didn't agree with the President and the invasion of Iraq that I should willingly relinquish my American citizenship. I was discouraged from questioning anything the government did. It was painful to see innocent American citizens targeted because of their Muslim religion or Middle east heritage. I watched in disgust as the American flag became a symbol for the most un-American behavior I could ever imagine. I watched in horror as the department of Homeland security was established and began eroding constitutional rights with the force of a damn that has burst. No I didn't live with it, but it affected me.
Immediately, a current of hyper-Americanism grew into a tidal wave of vigilantism. Understandably Americans wanted an explanation. We were emotional. We were grieving. We were scared. It is difficult to remain objective when one is overcome with grief or fear.               
What happened next was nothing more than war mongering and political posturing. Historically, nothing new.

But isn't that the point? History. Are we incapable of learning from history? The phrase 'Never Forget' has become a cliche and yet it is ironic because we forget everything. We forget that the FDA put a drug on the market that killed 30 thousand people. We forget that this politician campaigned on the family values ticket before he was caught having oral sex with that teen-aged boy. We forget this spokesmodel is a household name because her ex-boyfriend sold their most intimate moments to that porn distributor. Or this drug addicted hot mess was once the biggest sex symbol of the last decade when she had barely hit puberty. Collectively we have already forgotten Katrina, Haiti, Myanmar, the Tsunami, Georgia...

When we say 'Never forget' let's remember these events as they actually were. When I see a politician campaigning on the backs of the fallen, or an evangelist trying to make a name for himself while inciting violence, I have to ask myself how is exploiting a tragedy for political and personal gain morally acceptable? Why is it evil for someone to hate me but justifiable for me to hate them? Why is it that people who die on American soil are victims and heroes, but civilians and children who die in other countries are merely casualties?

I don't really know what history will say about 9/11. I can see that nine years later the history is still being written.

Maybe a wee bit snarky...

Today I went to Bainbridge Island to listen to a former MD from Virginia Mason who also practices reiki and holistic healing. She told me (and about 50 other would be healed people) that we need to breathe to become present. She had us draw our "blocks", and how we see ourselves overcoming the blocks. I described my block to a lady in her 50's as she listened without responding verbally or otherwise. Another lady talked to me about her guilt at being intellectually aware and yet still being stuck.
I love this kind of stuff. I love my chakras and shit. And yet there's a part of me that starts scoffing. Maybe it's my stunted inner child? The thing that I noticed, and it WAS noticeable was that this was a very homogeneous audience. With the exception of my husband and I, everyone in this room was dressed for a granola convention. A LOT of wool, and nubuck Birkenstocks, and Timberland, and that whole REI/Whole Foods Chic that the Pacific Northwest embraces like no other. I like it better than that look we were known for which I can proudly say I did not participate in the infamous Grunge. But Granola is a lot like Grunge. It's like a badge of honor and identifies you to others in the group. It tells you what the person eats (or refrains from eating) what the political views and probably religious views are, that they use organic products and drive Hybrids and Volvos and bicycles, that they probably retain most of there body hair. I know it's all so stereotyping but really. I'm not kidding. Everyone in this room-the poster children for Yippie that hybrid of Neo Hippie, and Neo Yuppie. I almost laughed out loud when they announced that the owner of a volvo had left their lights on and half the room stared anxiously when someone said "What color and license plate?" I did enjoy the evening and felt very calm and a little light headed after all that breathing. I think I might take a Tai Chi class...

Why is Snow Patrol is putting out a "retrospective" ?

When a band has 6 studio albums, and a couple of singles what should be the next step? Snow Patrol believes the next step is to release a retrospective. What is a retrospective? A musical project that re-releases different songs from the various albums in the band's discography. Is the purpose to explore the progression the band has made as musicians, songwriters. Is it to highlight the vast diversity of music expression the band has created over time? Is is to remaster recordings that were made on lower quality equipment? Is it to introduce the music of the past to a new generation, or remix the original music?
What besides the promise of money with almost no effort could motivate a band like this to do a retrospective. They don't have to write and record new music. 

Snow Patrol creates repetitive, uninspired, goin' through the motions music that makes great soundtracks for the WB, and crappy films. They had a sound in 2003 Final Straw. They had some real potential. They quickly proved to be a one trick pony. And now they want to take the already processed and regurgitated music and recycle it. Maybe this is Green Music??
I was surfing around the internet and saw a video of a very young Paul McCartney listening to a recording of John Lennon singing "Beautiful Boy". This was filmed after John's death. It was obvious that Paul was experiencing overwhelming emotion. I thought about the lyrics of this song which are so simple, very transparent. And yet they're multidimensional and so transcending. A band like the Beatles could very reasonably have many "retrospective" projects. But NOT Snow Patrol.
Maybe it's time for another gauntlet to be thrown down Snow Patrol. Maybe it's time to write some songs, real songs with something to say, a point of view. Maybe it's time to get creative. Do this and then call the album The Line in The Sand.

A Whisper to a Scream

There are a few things that I know to be true. People are way too concerned with themselves, and we are here for less than a second on the continuum. If you study the past, you get a glimpse into the future, but the moment you are in is it. It's everything.
Not to say there aren't important events, or influential people. Right now events are taking place that will effect the world, and people are influencing those events. It's just that it never really changes anything. We are all just caught in the flow, a great big cycle. Pre, post, neo, first wave, third wave, modern, tradionalist, fundamentalist, liberal, conservative, anarachists. It just keeps going around. I'm kind of bored with it.
What are we fighting about today? Stimulus package, Health Care Reform, projected inflation, projected quagmire in Afghanistan, projected exponential growth of the deficit, potential of H1N1 to decimate the population, obesity, cancer, aids, illiteracy, the collapse of family values.
Can these problems really be solved? I know how I feel about these issues. Maybe you feel differently. So the "right" answer comes from the group who collects the most money, the most power and influence? Is the "right" answer the one that comes from the person who screams the loudest at the town hall conference? Am I right if I'm more clever in the way I word my speech? Are you right because you are a martyr? Is she right because it says so in the bible? What does it say in the Koran?
I don't know if I'm feeling apathy. I still open my mouth and say what I think, and I still put my money where my mouth is. I will still go march in the streets of Seattle when passion moves me. I still pay attention. But I'm getting the feeling more and more that the great fights just keep us busy and we are all missing the real point.
The real point? It sounds so self righteous and smug.
It's just that what if the conclusion you and I draw came from a flawed premise? Then what?

A Letter to David Fincher

January 09, 2009

Dear Mr. Fincher,
I went to see your latest film "The Case of Benjamin Button" last night.
I have been awed by your films in the past, Seven, Fight Club, and Zodiac were all films that left me out of breath when the credits rolled. In each you had tremendous talent in your actors but that alone is not enough to make a great film. Your instincts, your ability to tell the story, made the films so real, the emotions so raw, the ideas so profound. I was almost traumatized.
My reaction to Benjamin Button was violent out of disgust, not awe.
Initially I saw the trailer for this film, without knowing your name was attached. I immediately dismissed the film. The trailer presents a feel good drama that makes leaps through history to tell the story of a man who's life becomes a mirror for society. Through his eyes we can experience the wonder and cruelty of humanity until we realize how short and precious life really is. It looked like a slick, well packaged, big budget, Brad Pitt vehicle for the holiday season. To that I said No Thanks, 9 bucks is staying in my pocket until the next Sean Penn film gets released.
It's been a long time since I've had any respect for Brad Pitt the actor. He's seemingly become lost in the little personality that he created for himself as an architect without any training, and expatriate, celebrity philanthropist. I really don't give a crap who he's screwing or marrying, or how many children he has. I'm talking about the actor, one who calls his own shots and can make any movie he wants and have any role he wants and The Mexican, Troy, The Ocean Movies, Mr. and Mrs. Smith - well these are just terrible films and Brad was dull, pretty, simple, predictable, flat, pretty -(okay the first Ocean's 11 was entertaining) enough about Brad Pitt, this letter is for you.
No, I hadn't the least inclination to go see your film until I saw you being interviewed with Pitt on the Charlie Rose Show. I watched the entire interview. Charlie spoke very highly of your film. You talked about the friend who was with their dying parent who inspired scenes and even dialogue in your film. You all talked about this film as though it was your Magnum Opus. I was intrigued and actually went out and read the short story. I had great optimism.
This was not your pet project as I understand, another director Spike Jonze was initially thought to take this, and then another director did and was fired and you came on board. This isn't your genre, it's your first time in the world of PG-13. It's also the first time you made a film that truly sucks. I'm sorry but there's no other way to say it. Your film sucks the life out of me. It had almost nothing redeemable. That's tough to do when you have Tilda Swinton, and Cate Blanchet in a film.
You took a little 30 page short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald and turned it into the longest, most drawn out, pathetic attempt to please the masses and rake in the cash that I've ever seen. You tried to take the Forrest Gump model and cross it with The English Patient, and throw a little of Tim Burton's Big Fish to make a film that would make millions in profit, and possibly get an Oscar. Way to play it. Except it was not Forest Gump, could never dream to touch the English Patient, and lacked the authenticity and spirit of Big Fish.
My largest criticism of your film is that it lacks authenticity. You changed the setting from Baltimore, Maryland to New Orleans, Louisiana. Was that because of Brad?Was it supposed to add complexity?The clock maker with the "creole wife", what the hell was the point of that? Just so we could see a backwards clock flooded by levy water in the closing shot? I thought you might go into that storyline a little more because the idea of a clock going backwards in a movie about a baby aging backwards, well it's interesting, there's potential. But you didn't explain or explore it. Inter-racial relationships were not commonplace or accepted in the deep South in the 1900's. No matter let's push on. How about dying Daisy in the bed? She's to the point of taking her last shallow breaths. She's on drip morphine. And yet she has the mental clarity, and ability to convey her life story as Hurricane Katrina whips it's way toward them. This was insulting. The little back and forth between the old woman and her daughter, the impossibility of it. The cheap device was so distracting as she narrated this cliche tale that meanders on and barely ties together. I kept thinking about my own family members close to death, in hospitals and hospice, on morphine who could barely mutter two words or follow your finger with their eyes. This made me want to slap you and every executive who greenlighted this project or was on set during production congratulating himself.

Finally I want to say if my letter was long, your 2 hour and 48 minute movie was longer. I can't believe I sat in that packed theater for nearly 3 hours getting spoon fed only to hear 'some people are mothers, some people make buttons, some people dance...'
I guess Life is really 'like a box of chocolates' wait that was Gump I meant 'you never know what's coming for you' I take this to mean, you're about to see a really bad film.

Sincerely,
JD

Introduction

I do not expect that anyone will find it necessary to read my rants, observations, or whims with any sort of regularity. However I encourage it because I do have a few unique things to say and it might amuse you occasionally. Regardless of whether you read this or not, I have decided to write.

I used to write often, even called myself a writer. My first short story was published in a book of short stories for the Lake Washington School District so take that! I and about 100 other children so that makes me special and elevated right?

OK then later I got to writing on a regular basis. The teen angst juices were really flowing. I was so disturbed by my own sexuality as an unsure, awkward young woman, but I found that I could write poetry about it and broadcast it at "readings" in front of the school cafeteria. Imagine that for a moment. I was not alone. There was a movement in my school, in my high school time. We were all carrying around The Bell Jar, and Anne Sexton's Complete Works, Dorothy Parker, and Anais Nin in our backpacks and messenger bags.

When I finally developed a rudimentary style and voice of my own, I quit writing. Self consciousness is not incredibly helpful in life or writing. It makes for great comedy though.

So an introduction to me:
I do have habit or using profanity. Recently I've decided to make an effort to cease using profanity. It's not in my true nature. It is fun though and decidedly to the point. I love animals and the underdogs. My world view greatly influenced by this fact. I am not religious and get a little twitch when people find the need to use phrases like "Heavenly Father" or "The Scripture". But I have my own, deeply personal spirituality that is for me. I have no need to make you understand it, or relate to it. I'm cool with my own thing. I'm a bit opinionated. But that makes for good blogging right?

This blog has no agenda, no underlying reason for existing. It's just the randomness that comes from my head to your computer. I'm going to allow my writing to go wherever and see what's up when I get there.

OK well that's enough for now. Later.